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I’d like to suggest to the industrial giants that make irons, the following:

If you insist on putting bloody “auto-off” features on irons, at least make it possible to turn it OFF. You can make it a default. You can make it a painful little button to disable it. You can make me sign in blood that I will not sue you.

Or, you can come over here and finish iron this top, with an awful lot of 2″ seams with your iron that turns off very quickly while it’s being held horizontally.

uh, hello. Irons are used in a horizontal position, corporate masterminds!

Were you thinking about that at all? Ironing – iron held horizontally – iron must be hot. I’m just saying.