{"id":12531,"date":"2015-05-16T23:11:17","date_gmt":"2015-05-17T03:11:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.quiltr.com\/?p=12531"},"modified":"2015-05-16T23:11:17","modified_gmt":"2015-05-17T03:11:17","slug":"pretentiously-hazardous-haiku","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/?p=12531","title":{"rendered":"Pretentiously Hazardous haiku"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I enjoyed this NYTimes article titled, &#8220;<a href=\"http:\/\/www.nytimes.com\/2015\/05\/17\/opinion\/sunday\/i-love-the-post-office.html\" target=\"_blank\">I Love the Post Office<\/a>&#8221; not only for the opinion of the author but because it had this:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Yet there are pleasures to be had, beyond the masochistic ones. At the same Brooklyn post office where I saw the boy nearly blinded by the bag, there is, amid the self-inking stamps used to label mail, one that reads \u201c<strong>PRETENTIOUSLY HAZARDOUS<\/strong>.\u201d So flawless was this, so in perfect pitch with the light-speed-changing neighborhood in which it sits, that I thought maybe I had dreamed it up. So I returned and there it was again, the accidental poetry of an author within the United States Postal Service, some 625,000 men and women strong and $5 billion on the bleeding side of its yearly operating budget.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p> And sure enough that pretentiously hazardous phrase had seven syllables which I mulled over while doing stuff at home today. First it made me think of mailed glitter &#8216;bombs&#8217; &#8211; the gift that keeps on giving. But in no time at all, my brain had turned to the consumer of all things pretentiously hazardous: <a href=\"http:\/\/en.wikipedia.org\/wiki\/Wile_E._Coyote_and_The_Road_Runner\" target=\"_blank\">Wile E. Coyote (and The Road Runner)<\/a>.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Are you sending a<br \/>\npretentiously hazardous<br \/>\nitem in the mail?<\/p>\n<p>A box of glitter,<br \/>\npretentiously hazardous:<br \/>\na thing forever.<\/p>\n<p>Wile E. Coyote:<br \/>\npretentiously hazardous<br \/>\ncrate of dynamite.<\/p>\n<p>Acme sends their best<br \/>\npretentiously hazardous<br \/>\nRoad Runner live traps<\/p>\n<p>Exploding, crushing,<br \/>\npretentiously hazardous.<br \/>\nlive to try again.<\/p>\n<p>The box bears the stamp:<br \/>\nPRETENTIOUSLY HAZARDOUS<br \/>\nbut you break the seal.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A box of glitter, \u2022<br \/>\npretentiously hazardous: \u2022<br \/>\na thing forever. <a href=\"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/?p=12531\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_share_on_mastodon":"0"},"categories":[5,63,64],"tags":[544,539,540],"class_list":["post-12531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-badass-ness","category-haiku","category-haikupedia","tag-badassness","tag-haiku","tag-haikupedia"],"share_on_mastodon":{"url":"","error":""},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3FVAs-3g7","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12531","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=12531"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12531\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12533,"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12531\/revisions\/12533"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=12531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=12531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/quiltr.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=12531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}